Why We Always Want to Dance, and Why I Won’t Dance With You

“So, guys don’t like… get the urge? ”

No, we were not talking about sex. I asked this question on a date the other night (yes, ok fine, a Tinder Date), about why women always want to dance and men do not.  His answer, not surprisingly,  was a coughed-out chuckle. “Hah, uh… no.” He went on to explain how he doesn’t mind dancing, that he would definitely dance if he were at a place where everyone else was dancing, such as a club. Ah, of course, Tinder grasshopper.  And yet.

I don’t know if I can generalize this as a “thing girls do” but my experience as a collegiate young woman has been that, with my girlfriends, at any time, especially when there is alcohol involved, we get the urge. It overcomes us. We can’t stop it. Luckily, my friends and I have been able to grasp a solution to this craving. Starting last year on a late Saturday morning, if I or anyone else in the house felt “The Urge”, we would blast a lady jam (think Robyn ‘s “Dancing on my Own”), scream “THIRTY SECOND DANCE PARTY!!!!!!” and everyone would have to run into the same room, and shake what our mommas gave us.

Now, apply these polar-opposite, gendered ideas toward dancing to a social night out at a dive bar, and you have quite the clash of perspectives. Men, many of them hoping to A) get laid and, B) not embarrass themselves, will often do one of two things: either stand on the outskirts of the dance floor nodding their heads to the music in the hopes of striking up a conversation with someone (and making their way off the dance floor),  or,  my personal favorite, come up behind a woman, start rubbing their body against her, and then shout in her ear “WANNA DANCE?!”. Now, not all men are like this- some actually approach the woman before rubbing themselves all over her like a dog in heat, and some do not even give them the courtesy of asking. They simply latch onto her, pelvis first, and attempt to move with their new play toy as if their are one connected unit.

To these men, I say NO. NO, I will not dance with you. Why? Because I, unlike you, want to dance. I want to move, I want to feel this shitty Top Forty music pulsing through my vains, and dance with my friends who are all equally uncaring about going home with someone like you. Ok, ok, that’s not entirely true. Women have sexual urges just like men do. But, the difference is, I am not going to be turned on by feeling your sweaty body suctioned to mine before we’ve even spoken two words two each other, or, worse, before I’ve seen your face. Sure, maybe I’ll play along for a song or two, but when my best friend comes up and grabs me, looks you in the eyes and shouts “She’s mine!!!” Its not because I’m a lesbian. It is because this night is ours, and  I will not have you sweating and dry humping all over it.

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One thought on “Why We Always Want to Dance, and Why I Won’t Dance With You

  1. Why don’t men like to freak out and go ballistic to songs in public facilities like women do? It’s all in good fun. And it sure as hell is a lot more fun than being involuntarily grinded upon. Great post! Care to check out my blog? downwiththenorm.wordpress.com

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